HI GUYS. I'M drunk as all fuck right now, so if this is illegible, then I'm dreadfully sorry.

First things first: I beat Meat Boy Light World. All the video reviews for Super Meat Boy are complete shit. The IGN one justdescribes the game without tellin you whether it's any good or not, and the Gamespot one is some faggot's poem about video games. So I'll write a quick one for ya now:

Super Meat Boy is great. If you like wall-jumpin, and slidin under traps, and bein a swift-ass ninja, then you should definately get it.
It's super beefed up from the flash version.
I'ts like- y'know how Mario Galaxy took every possible idea for 3D platformers, and made one big crazy mix tape of everything? That's what Meat Boy does, but with 2D platformers. If you think it's just jumping over saws the whole game: It's not. They introduce crazy lasers, evil dudes, keys n locks, I raced a guy, it's a variety act. Also there's a shitload of secret abilities and fuckin- glitch worlds, dark worlds, secret levels, new dudes to unlock, it is SENSATION STATION.

Ok now about my games: The biker game still isn't out. I dunno- I haven't spoke to those guys fr a while, I dunno what the deal is with that.
No Time To Explain- The game with the crab guy who screams alot: I JUST signed an agreement with ArcadeBomb, the same guys who got Robot Dinosaurs and April n Booster. That might be out on ArcadeBomb.com in a week or so.
BREAKTHROUGH: Fuckin- don't hold it to me. I made it in a couple days, I pitched the idea a franchise, they didn't want it, fair enough, I released it anyway. Stricken from the record: It's not a huge deal.
Someone wants to sponsor it, so hey, y'know, not too bad.

STEALTH GAME!!!!
My next game is a top-down stealth game. Kinda like The Classroom (if you remember those games), kinda like MGS2. I shout-out MGS2 specificially because it's my favourite stealth game of all. Fuck the gadgets, fuck the gimmicks, it's all about HIDING, BAMBOOZLING GUARDS, BEING A SNEAKY-ASS MOTHERFUCKER. I don't like Splinter Cell.

Here's a prototype. Use the arrow keys (and the mouse in some spots)

It's JUST A TEST! Not the finished thing. This is just to give you an idea of what I'm doin right now.
Is it good or shit? You tell me.
I spent a good long time on the enemy AI, gettin him to walk around walls and find his way around. That's actually a big challenge, enemy AI is something I'm really interested in. In Crucnchdown I had a companion AI fight with you at one point, and in Johnny I had an enemy that had all the same abilities as you near the end. It's a really difficult thing to tackle, and I think Flash game dudes should shoot for making really interesting AI more often.

NEWGROUNDS NEWS - Someone really fun just asked me to collab on a game, but I had Flash 8 n he had Flash CS5, so I guess we're not compatible :(
+ This is kind of random, but Yotam's game just came out: Cat Game. I know he was waitin fr it to come out fr a while and I'm kinda bummed out that it's come out with like a 3.7.
I mention this cos I love his podcast with Max, it's still super funny. Does anyone know where exactly they do an impression of The Parent Trap girls? I want to animate it.

OH-- SPEAKING OF ANIMATION!!! I got really inspired by Terkoiz' Tentacle Monsters Tribute, and decided to make my own Tentacle Monsters Tribute Tribute. I only spent a day or so on it and got kinda boread though :( I need to catch up on game work cos it's kinda my job now, but I also wanna finish this. Is it worth finishing?? I do really love SWiTCH, I think he's the coolest dude...

I THINK THAT'S IT!?

As allways, here's my Formspring.. I hope it's not just one guy askin all the questions...

ALSO- it pains me to say this, but girls with boyfriends: what the fuck. Leave me alone. Don't play games with my heart- it's fucking annoying. OK? Ok. I'm glad we could clear that up.
END!!

http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/
549888

I'd love to be all song n dance about this- I've had a long time to think about what happens when this game comes out- but I opened the fla this mornin to tweek some stuff and OH MY GOD felt like killing myself.
This game has bin an absolute fucking bastard to make. If you fall off a ledge n don't respawn, or the guy in the cutscene on level 7 doesn't talk or whatever, keep it to yourself cos I do not give a shit.
This is one swf I never want to have to export again for the rest of my life.
I might make a walkthrough for youtube later with me talkin over it. There's a shedload of weird things hidden away in this game, it's like MGS2-style. I'll do that once I calm down from this rage.
Speakin of rage, I'm havin a whole bunch o fun with Dead Rising 2.

STUFF I'M DOING NOW:
This game will be on NG in a week or so.

Also the guy from Wooshii suggested this to me and I love it. I think No Fear's got a hilarious brand image, and the product they've got is basically Powerthirst. So I'm gonna pitch a game to that, deadline's tomorrow. I drew this dude based on their logo, and the basic idea I've got is that you have to sprint as fast as possible to bust through a bunch of brick walls at the end or something.
So if they go for that then that'd be really cool.

VOICE ACTORS FROM LAST WEEK: I've got someone, he's super mega good. Sorry everyone else.

God I wish I was more excited about Johnny comin out but I'm too busy being crazy fuckin annoyed at it.

Watch Larry 2 cos that kicks the shit out of pretty much everyone right now.

I don't like makin news posts when I've got nothin to talk about, but now I'm makin these games full-time I have to hit things head-on.
HERE'S MY NEXT GAME:

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It's VERY short and it's just kind of a small joke. It's mostly future-you dieing a horrible death; this is one of those games I came up with in the shower. I guess it's roughly the same joke as this but not exactly.
The first lines are in the video, some other lines might be:
"I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN OH GOD!!"
"WHY DO I HAVE THIS MUCH BLOOD??"
"MY BONES ARE A FINE PASTE AARGH!"
"AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO PASS OUT FROM THIS MUCH PAIN? AAARRRGGHH!"
"WHAT'S THAT POKING THROUGH MY EYE? IS IT ONE OF MY RIBS? OH GOD!"
"OH THESE HIPS WILL NEVER BOOGIE AGAIN!!"
"I THINK- I think my nervous system shut down... I can't feel any-*SNAP* AAAAARGH OH GOD I WAS WRONG!"
and I'm tryina think of more. If you want to improv some then that'd be perfect.
Infact if you wanna suggest some in the comments then that'd be good too.

Oh and I guess April n Booster came out. 3.9 guys? really? 27,000 views?
Are you just fuckin with me at this point or what?

Anyway I think Road Trip Rampage is finally gonna come out witihin the next week on GameShed.com. They sent it back to me literally about 12 times (it took weeks!) cos it was full of glitches. I admire the patience; nobody ever does that n they must've played through the whole thing about 50 times.

Johnny news: The guy at MaxGames literally said the words "October 1st" sooooooo... Maybe?

I'm not doin too well tbh; I've signed up as self-emplyed, spoke to an accountant, made a spreadsheet of all my money comin in n goin out, and NOW everyone's tellin me to get a job. My parents are the fucking opposite of help as usual, nothin's ever straight-forward is it?

END
OH and I made a logo for my friend's friend's gay band which is actually not as gay as I thought it'd be.
Formspring

My next game (or I guess it's my next next game) is ROAD TRIP Rampage. If you're a flash-savvy dev guy then you can go play it here and leave some feedback.
It's a 90s arcade style game (SURPRISE) so I'm thinkin it'd be good to have an announcer guy shout
"ROAD TRIP... Rampage!!"
"SHOTGUN!!"
"MARCO!" (Mark-o)
"ELROY!"
"SHINA!" (She-na)
"CONTINUE!!"
and that's literally it. It'd be fun if someone did. Don't be offended if you send me a thing and I edit it a whole bunch- Cos I want it to sound like a crappy old Sega game.
So that game's up fr bid, and I guess you won't play it for like another month...

Until then, where's April & Booster? That's a game I just finished. I was about to upload it when my sponsor guy said I should improve a couple things, and I did, they were good suggestions that only took like an hour..
but then he said I should make some o the sound effects voiced like Robot Dinosaurs, and I should announce the title screen- but I don't think that suits the game at all. It's not a very arcade-style joke-style game. He's not replied for a couple days, I don't know if he's just busy or if he's ignoring me until I make these changes...
So I guess that's on the shelf for a few more days! I never know exactly what's goin on with business people :/

My next next next game (the one that I'm about to start) will have you come back from the future to warn yourself of a horrible event that is about to occur over and over n over again. It's gonna be one o those joke games like Robot Dinosaurs or Duck Sim.

I made some Youtube videos recently. They're alright. Kinda funny:

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Y'know-.. cos I don't wanna forget how to use After Effects.
I'm booked on a holiday next year, so yipee.

FORMSPRING don't forget to ask me about shit!

Max and Yotam's podcast is really funny. I noticed today that his site and mine both have the same colour and the same poorly drawn image of ourselves in the header. If I knew how to make a news bit then I'd have that aswell. Weird!

I think that's everything.

EDIT- OH SHIT WAIT I FORGOT; I watched Jurrassic Park 1 2 and 3. 1 is amazingly good n you should all go back n watch it, 2 is pretty bad, and 3 is better than 2 but not as good as 1.

I was doin some driving theory tests a few days ago, and about halfway through it I got really bored and realised that you could get it to narrate all the questions n answers out loud. So I laughed at that for a few minutes n made this:

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It's more of a thing I just made fr me n my mates to laugh at, but I also put it on NG just cos.

I'm still makin that biker game:

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Like all my other games, I can't get it to be actually fun. It also needs more punch n more flash, I can't get it to stop sucking >:(

The bid for April n Booster ends tomorrow, so that'll be out soon. Pretty much the only bid on it for ages was Newgrounds, and that was kinda sad cos I thought more people'd be interested in it, then I sent the message out that I was about to close it up n everyone dived on it. Right now it's like 2 grand higher than what Robot Dinosaurs went for, which is just silly. Highest bidder so far is the same guy who won Johnny so y'know.

Still got that formspring.
I started playin through GTA 4 again even though I fuckin hate that game.

RAD RACER!! Rage racer? Road rumble.. King of the road. Hell's Highway. Highway to Hell.
I don't know- It's like Excitebike but you fight guys. I only just started it like yesterday, I'm aimin to finish within a month. I'm really not sure what kinda game it is yet so NOW WOULD BE THE TIME TO MAKE SUGGESTIONS.
FOR THE OFFICIAL DEVLOG by which I mean I made a thread on a forum GO HERE!

April n Booster's up for bid, so if you're a savvy developer type then you can probably go play it right now. It's bin up for just over a week n it's got two bids- I don't think that's very good.
I mean y'know, I'm not an expert. But if this gets a 3.7 I'll be annoyed.

Oh, I submit art things now. Check that out, and toggle mature content on. I'm not really an artist though, so don't scout me or anythin.

I think that's it, I'm not really doin much.

Oh, y'know what? I'll make a Formspring, that'll be fun. Go nuts on that for a bit.

If you're on the internet and you like video games- You are probably bored out your face this week. I mean like nothin's goin on right? The next few days specifically it's just so quiet!
What better time to release internet video games??

QUICK SAND that platformer thing is out.
It's getting a really shit score, everyone hates the controls.
Here's a walkthrough, which OFFICAILLY is to help anyone with the game, but REALLY it's the wall-jumping is fine shut the fuck up.
WOW- Wait a minute, I just found this. lmao ok I can see why everyone hates this. That was really funny to watch. Anyway, walkthrough:

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Sponsor guy asked me to send him the Johnny swf last night, then logged off. WHAT COULD THIS MEAN??

Here's a clip of the other game I said I was working on. I think it'll be finished in about 1 or 2 weeks:

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I think that's everything.

Yo heads up I'm gonna spoil the end of Deadly Premonition in a sec.

I bought a new PC, which is way better than my old one and cant open the Johnny .fla. its fine though, that games bin finished for like- weeks now. I was like YO SPONSOR GUY, LETS GET THIS GAME OUT n he was all HM I WAS THINKIN WE'D DO THAT NEXT MONTH aaaaarrrrg. I've got like no money right now and can really do with some.
This PC CAN record video pretty well though. so now I can do what I allways wanted to do n make a trailer. So here's that:

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n that was fun. I'm think I'll blast that out to a bunch o sites the day the game comes out.

Oh and I sold different game to NG, so thatll be out this time next month? I dunno when thatll be out, but its finished. Its a platformer with 35 single-screen stages that you have to beat.

Third game: I started workin on somethin that's kind of structured like robot dinosaurs, but you can inhale and fire small enemies. Im aiming for like a REALLY really childish innocent adventure that doesnt feel forced or manufactured- Which it turns out is really hard. Here's some ideas of what main guy could look like. The whole things ispired by stuff like this, this, this, and how 5 yr olds are having a way better time than the rest of us and they havent learned yet the concept of being embarrased of how excited they are.
Here's what Ive got so far:

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Im findin it really hard to think of enemies with interesting or fun behaviours. Actually I dont think this game is fun enough in general, its nowhere near what I want it to be. Hopefully Ill crack it soon.

what else was I gonna say? OH YEAH have you seen deadly premonition?? its this Xbox game thats fucking crap- Dreamcast graphics, wacky animations, fucking bizzare dialogue, boring slow and tedious gun combat, it's the worst game ever but I ended up loving it. Anyway, long story short, the lovely innocent Aeris girl dies at the end. NOT JUST DIES THOUGH; you find her post-rape quivering, naked, leaking blood, she doesn't know who's who, where she is or what's going on, tries to walk- can't, keeps trying, asks you to kill her and then dies. It was FUCKING NUTS. I've never seen a game (including indie games) build up a relationship like that and then RAPE one o the main protagonists. I was like WHAAAAAAAAAT isnt that right, York.

Can't think of anything else.
I wanna make a game that's like Excitebike, but kind of like Road Rash where you're in a biker gang and have to beat up other bikers while speedin down the freeway. You could pluck road signs n other weapons out of the ground as you drive by, I think that could be cool. A boss fight would be like- a truck or something? I dunno!

OH that was the other thing I was gonna say- howda you guys feel about logos that go over gameplay? Like in that johnny trailer. I really didnt mind it at first, but everyone keeps pointin it out and now I feel like it makes the game look like a banner ad. I sold another thing recently and like ALL the sponsors wanted that as if it was the norm, but Ive never done it before and Ive never seen it done either. To me thats just not somethin that games do.
I asked one guy an he said YEAH, THE PLAYER WANTS MORE GAMES ALL THE TIME, SO IF YOU PUT A SITE FULL OF GAMES ON IT THAT THEY CAN CLICK WHENEVER THEY GET BORED THEN THATS GREAT, THAT MAKES IT BETTER. so I ignored that guy, because thats stupid. I want the game to be as much about itself as possible. would any o you put a logo over a game?

If I had a dime for every time someone on the internet dropped out o somethin on me!
j/k, I don't know what a dime is. I'm English, we have hexagonal coins. Seriously though, I've got a whole bunch of half-done games with the best fucking artists.

Anyway I asked for voices for Legend o Johnny like a year ago and got the best possible cast of people I could've got. Only half of em came through in the end though, so now I guess I'm back here. Sad face. Some people weren't available, or missed it the first time though so maybe I'll work out better- silver lining!
If you don't know what this game is: It's a 2D fightin shootin action game that I've bin workin on for a million years. You play as Johnny, you're girlfriend gets kidnapped by mysterious thugs, and you sell your soul for the strength to get her back. That's the game.
Here's the opening cutscene. Judge the game on that.

So far I've got Jessie, the devil, and skull fire head guy. They are fab-tabular. I still need:
JOHNNY - Has more lines than anyone, there's about 5 minutes of cutscene in the game with him talking.
I had a lot of different ideas for Johnny about his voice, his attitude, all that shite; but really the only thing I can do without genuinely hating myself is a generic everyman. I know, I'm sorry. He's about 19- 20, has no job, no prospects, no money, he's a typical newgrounder. His first few lines are kind of played down like he doesn't wanna be there, then for a minute he's ecstatic, and later evolves into taking everything a bit more seriously.

PRIDE - Has about 3 lines in the intro, and a short conversation later on.
is the closest thing this game has to a rival. He's an low-class British rockstar type who gets everything he wants all the time. Be prepared to sigh a lot, talk down to people, sound condescending, be a twat. He's not a total idiot, and doesn't do any whining.
Everyone's sending me Pride as this private-school, trust-fund rich englishman, but I'm lookin for a more Liam-Gallagher, big-head english rockstar.

GREED - Has about 3 lines in the game, you kill him before the next cutsene
I like him from the south. Imagine him driving a truck with a shotgun in the passenger seat. Don't over-do it though. You know what I mean.

THE BARMAN - Has literally two lines in the game
He is based on Al Murray. There, I said it. He's an angry working-class English pub landlord.
If you wanna replace "OH JESUS!" with "GORDON BENNET!", "BLOODY NORA!" or "JESUS WEPT!" then by all means.
If anyone wants to swap any words about in the script, then fuckin GO FOR IT. I'm not a writer, and I don't know fuck all about what's good, or funny, or sounds right, or anything. If you can say somethin better than I can write it: brilliant.

I think that's all of em.
Actually- It'd be mad bonus if someone could do an announcer voice to shout the game's title, like an old arcade game. Y'know, like METAL SLUG!! or SOUL CALIBUR!! or STREET FIGHTER!! but a bit less omnipotent and a bit more sly n quick and aggressive. Know what I mean? Probably not.

and that's it. Please try it :(
Oh, the game's finished by the way. Like- FINISHED finished. Once I get voices and lip-synching in then it'll be out and I'll hopefully never have to look at it again.
Oh and yea, there's a full written script with a bunch of direction n shit on it. If you wanna see anythin, ask for it!
also my e-mail is Tombrien@msn.com
AUDITIONS BY THE END O THE WEEK by the way

I played Bioshock 2. I thought it was gonna be shit, but it was allright. Traps are cool.

OK WAIT, I'M GONNA DESCRIBE PRIDE N GREED AGAIN:
Everyone's sending me Pride as this private-school, trust-fund rich englishman, but I'm lookin for a more Liam-Gallagher, big-head english rockstar.
The other one's Greed, who's this really downplayed, lazy bluegrass simple hick.

I'm one o those hobbyist kind o guys who can't go a day without some kind of project to work on. So over the passed couple days I done these:

I opened 3DSMax an made a robot walk. It's not that good, I could do better. It was mostly to refresh myself on how to use 3DS.

I spent an afternoon animating this. I just kind of opened Flash and started drawin frames, then pressed Play at the end an thought OH HEY, Y'KNOW WHAT, THAT'S NOT BAD. I found out that zooming in looks loads better if you redraw each frame instead of like tweening or V-cammin' it.

I made a game over't passed couple days n all. It's this fast-paced little platformer in a screen-by-screen structure (where each level is a new screen and the camera never goes anywhere) and you're this arabic gerudo thief lady in some deep-ass cave. It starts fillin up with sand pouring in and you have to get to the exit in each level before you get crushed by the cieling. The sand is cool cos it blocks off old routes, but also elevates you to new ones, so you have to prioritise which way you're gonna go in which order, and you also have to be really quick.
It's pretty much finished actually. I just don't wanna sell it n get it out there cos y'know; I sold Johnny like last July and that'd be really dickish of me to release this before that's out...

Speakin of Johnny, I went in there an fixed what was causin it to crash every 10 seconds.
Also come on voice guys, what. I'm still waitin on like half the voices. If it's not gonna happen then jus PM me or somethin an I can carry on.

I'm applyin for paid apprenticeships all over't place.
Also I've grown a beard and can't really explain why.
Oh and my website looks a bit different now Tombrien.co.uk
here's a screenshot. It's bigger than that irl.