Feelin like an insignificant retard who'll never make an impact on anyone and die alone? well that must mean its time for A NEWS POST! from that guy- orange avatar- I can't remember his name it's somethin stupid.

What's Legend of JOHNNY?
I could spend fuckin hours talkin about this game, but lets just call it Devil May Cry as a 2D platformer. It's got mouse controls, so chew on that for a sec n check out these screenshots.

The only AUDIO dialogue is in the intro and outro. The idea is that there's a boy named Johnny, his girlfriend gets stolen by evil guys, so he makes a deal with the devil to be super tuff, and goes on a mega quest to get her back. It's all very doofy and casual, none o that weird gothic occult demon shit goin on.
I've drafted the intro so I wouldn't forget stuff. This is it.- Hopefully I'll change all the stuff that's shit and weird. ANY FEEDBACK OR ANYTHIN ANYONE WANTS TO SAY ABOUT HOW I CAN MAKE THIS BETTER: FUCKIN GO FOR IT. I'M TOTALLY LISTENIN.

Ok so that's the intro- here's a summary of the guys who need voices:
JOHNNY
To be honest I've totally over-thought Johnny. I wanted to make him anti-cool so he wouldn't be like this demon-slayer ninja guy, but more like the Peter-Parker-archetype (deliberate rhyme) so the first thing I did was give him this orange Tintin-esque coif and put him in a shit band with a dopey name, really effortless clothes (except the jacket, that's animation emphasis blah blah) etc.
Then, for a while, I thought maybe he should have like a really unfortunate voice that'd make him sound like an idiot. Like he could talk in a total casual way but imagine if he was from Texas- or Kentucky, or New York, Canada, Wales, Ireland, fuckin Yorkshire, London, an I just said RIGHT STOP THINKIN ABOUT THAT COS YOU'LL BLOODY RUIN IT.
So you guys just try n do the best Johnny you can, and hopefully it'll just fit. Cos voice guys can probably come up with somethin way better than I can anyway.

JESSIE
Jessie is Johnny's GF. She's not really into Johnny, and thinks he's an idiot who should fucking grow up. Maybe she just likes him cos he's got money, or a car or something? I don't know. She's confident, on-top, abbrasive, and the kind of person who would walk up and punch the guy who's setting everyone on fire.

PRIDE
concept art for pride
Pride is a douchebag / rich jerk. The kind of person who steals people's girlfriends. I think of him as Noel Gallagher, or Russel Brand, or anyone out of The Entourage. He's above everyone else, and angry at anyone who's not doing exactly what he wants.

WRATH
I imagined Wrath to be the merchant from Resident Evil 4. Except instead of talking all SLOW AND MYSTERIOUS, he's totally casual and pretty pumped to burn shit up. So he keeps the cockney pronunciation, and the demonic growl voice, but he talks at the rate of a normal person. I sound so bloody stupid writing these.

GREED
I haven't thought about this at all, so y'know what just go nuts. Greed is based on a news story I read once about some loser scum who won the lottery, then blew it on jewellry, beer, weed and quadbikes.

THE DEVIL
This is another one I've over-thought. At first he was pretty much Hades from Disney's Hercules, then I got this bizzare idea that he'd be this 60's scat fellow like pretty much like Drebin. An when it came to drawin him, I just went with somethin completely different. So again- whatever you think works.

THE PUB LANDLORD
Duhrr.

Comment here, PM me, E-mail Tombrien@msn.com, whatevs. Don't feel like you have to say exactly what's planned, go nuts, alter the script however, I'm not a writer or nothin.

n that's jus about it. Am I askin too much? I think I bloody am y'know. In all fairness though, this game is stupidly big. Like I can confidently say that this game was a daft idea. Y'know that idea you get when you FIRST start makin games (or fuckin cartoons or whatever, ya know) an you've got this idea that you'll make this magnificent amazing game experience with 8 levels, 8 original bosses, all frame-by-frame, fuckin- animated cutscenes, all that gubbins. Then you open Flash and find out that makin a guy jump is pretty fuckin hard and that crazy huge game never gets made? Legend of JOHNNY is pretty much: imagine if someone actually did one o those stupid ideas. I started it like a year ago, but I got busy with college, got a job, made about 4 other games, made a website, got another job; it's just bin in my back pocket for ages.
I want it done before 2010, but LET'S BE HONEST, no way is that happening. I mean I've still got intro n outro to animate, menus to do, none of the audio's in. pffffffpfpfpfff
I wanted it finished cos A) this is gettin a bit sad, and B) Tank award: goin for it.
but now I've got the almost-finished blues an I've just gone n got another job, so nevermind I guess.

I kind of wanna spout about the game for a paragraph or so, but this is probably allready a fuckin long post so I'll cut it short here.

I'm up to episode 25 of this anime called Gurren Lagann. I'm not big on anime, but every now n then blah blah. Here's how they animate a guy getting punched:

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great stuff

everyone ask me stuff, cos I'll have a fun old time talkin about shit.
Hopefully the next news post'll be askin about testin n shit.
Now I'm gonna go PM a bunch of guys about this. Allright, no I'm not, but I probably will do later.
I THINK THAT'S IT? EXPECT THIS POST TO BE EDITED ABOUT 50 TIMES!
OH- and thanks to Ed mcmuffin, his tablet sped up the creation of this scene's production by 1.56 coefficient.