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I-smel

Age/Gender: 18, Male
Location: England, MAN-CHESTer

NO MEANS YES AND YES MEANS ANAL.

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Entry #52

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I-smel

Week 4 of working in the industry

Posted by I-smel Sep. 15, 2009 @ 7:52 PM EDT

Read my last thing if you wanna catch up on this.

Uuurrrrrggghhhh I feel like wank. The boss was off for a week or so, so I've just got round to havin a chat about my pay and over-time n all that shite etcetra.
It went fucking terribly. I said I can't do overtime and work weekends while getting paid £50 a week, everyone at home's tellin me to leave, my parents are all the fuck over me, it's not registered as an internship, I'm workin more than an intern would n all that shite etcetera.
Basically he thought all I cared about was money, said I'd get the same anywhere else, I'd usually get £0 for an apprenticeship, he knows people who he can get to work for free, faster than me, I've got bugger-all qualifications, they're a brand new company and so on. Pretty much shot down everything I said.
Then I go home and my family's got the perfect answer to all that, and think I'm a total spineless retard for not leaving. I can't just leave because my mates and family (and the fuckin internet) are tellin me to though- That would make me an idiot. I'm stuck between a job that think I'm worthless and a social life that thinks I'm a loser.

So tomorrow I'm fucking leaving. Forget aprenticeship, convincing everyone I'm not some feeble victim of this job, havin meetings about bein late or why I won't work weekends, writin everything formally and sensibly, and plannin out exactly how Im gonna talk to someone before I talk to em. Forget excuses. FORGET MONEY. I shouldnt force myself into this rock-an-a-hard-place lifestyle while I'm 18. I should be workin in a retail job and BLOWIN A FAT WEDGE ON GETTIN MASHED N BEAR GASH.

So the plan is: For the next- however long- I'll keep makin indie games from home, and that'll keep me up. I'll level up at animation, and take every opportunity I can to contribute to a team. And I don't mean these dumbass Newgrounds collabs, I mean like Power of Three, or CAN ANYONE USE XNA?, that kinda stuff. Who knows; maybe I won't even work in the industry. Maybe I'll get a conventional job and make games on the side, maybe make a business out of it in a few years. But that's way down the line.

God. I FUCKING HATE MONEY. My boss thinks I'm obssessed with it, my family think I should ask for more of it, apparantly how much you've got is a label of how fucking amazing you are, and everyone wants it all the time. I'm sick of how much money I've got.
I get paid £50 a week on this job yeah? I made Robot Dinosaurs in 2 weeks and got £2600. I'd rather get £50. If it wasn't for this stupid statistic that makes everyone freak out I'd be fine. WHAT DO I EVEN SPEND IT ON? I spend it on clothes, games, films, food, beer, car, taxis and other. I lent £100 to a mate cos he lost his job before goin on holiday (25 of us in Bulgaria, he did invite me in the first place) and I won't tell anyone cos I know exactly what they'll say, and I'll sound like an idiot.
I'm gonna get flak for that paragraph on money, but what the fuck I'd rather be eatin beans from a cup in a student dorm than sat at ome with a full savins account.
btw, sorry jetpak-guy for ever invadin you with that money drama.

ALLRIGHT Im gonna stop now before I start gettin all emo up in this ho.
I'm gonna make a fresh quick game in the next couple week, so expect that. It's called Blastmaster Borris the Bear That Blasts Big Blue Beams and it's kind of like Robot Dinosaurs crossed with Spewer but it's a side-scrollering platformer with boss fights. I'll sell it, but only cos the money'll make everyone around me think I did the right thing by quitting.
And I feel pretty great after finishing a game. Especially a small one.
Y'know what, if I leave tomorrow I might aswell tell y'all what game I've bin workin on. It's allready publicly known.
Everyone at work is gonna think I'm such a dick for leavin grrgrrrruaaahhrhrrrrrr.

ZZZ2.JPG

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The People Have Spoken

27 Comments

Sep. 15, 2009 | 7:52 PM I-smel says:

diaperedanime.com


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:05 PM monkeyman811 says:

I'm glad to hear that. I make more than you make in a day, with less hours and probably an easier job. In Canada you are making less than minimum wage. You can be a grocery store clerk and make more for God's sake. Just quit and find another job, they are always out there.

Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:17 PM I-smel responds:

Minimum wage here is like £4.90 an hour, but I'm pretty sure what I'm on is an internship. Even though I'm the only animator on the game.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:11 PM PiGPEN says:

It's no fun workin' for the man.

Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:16 PM I-smel responds:

I feel a little bit privelaged to hear this from the Vtech Rampage guy. Cos that makes it mega true.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:20 PM BrandtPileggi says:

Right the Fuck On!!! I just posted this long ass post on the last update as you were putting this up. Long story short... You're doing the right thing. I made this exact same decision one year ago and it was the right one. Life is too fucking short to deal with the bullshit. Hit me up.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:28 PM Perry says:

Fight the power! make games, get sponsorship, start a site, when you get enough traffic to support yourself ditch the sponsors and just drive people to your site and continue making games for yourself.

Thats how its done.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:46 PM K0Nx says:

Good job...
I know you feel conflicted about it...
But it was the right choice...
Also you should work on XNA on the side...
Wasn't some guy on TIG saying he wanted to work on XNA with you?

Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:07 PM I-smel responds:

Yeah, but pretty much everyone on the internet says LET'S MAKE A GAME! then fades away a week later or decides they dont want to.

HI LENKO!
actually HI ANSEL ASWELL!
oh wait... SORRY CHASE! That one was me who gave up.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:48 PM Wurmy says:

Haha right with you on the issue with money.. I swear everyone around me is obsessed with money. My dad only thinks about the money, and it feels like every choice I make is based on how much money I have/will make/lack.. Really I just wish I could sit back and program for fun.. :(

Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:09 PM I-smel responds:

I KNOW, RIGHT?


Sep. 15, 2009 | 8:53 PM droid-tron says:

i'd hold off on that game for a while....to much stress on at a young age can result badly.....i understand your job being a bitch in the balls but being determined to finish something with stress in the back of ur head isn't healthy. so unless your already half way done with the game, eas it up a little. and also you don't really need to make everyone think you did the right thing by making the game infact the more non shalon you are about it the more impressive it will turn out!

Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:11 PM I-smel responds:

oh yeah, the game is goin easy-like-sunday-mornin. youll see that once you play it. Actually, just search BLASTMASTER BORRIS THE BEAR THAT BLASTS BIG BLUE BEAMS in Google.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:01 PM Magical-Zorse says:

he voiced your game and you can't even remember his name?

Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:20 PM I-smel responds:

I dont want to totally lay out everything I talk about with people, cos yknow- maybe they dont want me to. But I know and he knows so that's fine.

It's nothing bad btw.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:21 PM FrozenFire says:

Btw your boss just said that so you wouldn't leave

Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:33 PM I-smel responds:

I cant decide whether that's true, or just a really egotistical thing to say.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:22 PM MindChamber says:

"PiGPEN says:
It's no fun workin' for the man."
thankfully mommy is there to cover your ass lol.

and Smel I agree, if you like this job, you should do it, regardless of the money, unless of course, you cant afford to. but if hes taking advantage of you and dominating your free time, then it may be time to move on..

I guess it all boils down to what makes you happy.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:39 PM zrb says:

Money sucks.
Wonder what it would be like to live somewhere where you could do anything you wanted without having to think about it :\


Sep. 15, 2009 | 9:48 PM Stickman91 says:

Look, if you've got money, and you're satisfied with what you have, why not just do what makes you happiest?

If you love making games on your own, but don't like working in the industry, that's fine. Leave the job and don't look back. Instead of animating what someone tells you to, you'll be animating what you want, AND you'll be happier. Not only that, you'll also make a ton of other people happier by churning out good stuff that'll spread all over the web.

Since you've only just started out in the industry, no one will know who you are; you'll just be another worker among the thousands of others just starting out. Small fish in a big pond, know what I'm saying?

Of course, if you stick with the job, who knows? You MIGHT become recognized as something more than just another generic designer/artist working for some huge corporation. But that doesn't seem very likely, does it?

On the other hand, if you stick with indie games and keep on reinforcing your already well-established presence on the web, you'll have a much greater chance of really stepping up in the game-creating world. Ever hear of Edmund McMillen?

Well, that's about all I've gotta say. You said you're leaving tommorow? I think it'll be for the best. Stick with those Flash games you've started, you're great at makin' 'em!

Sep. 16, 2009 | 4:18 PM I-smel responds:

Flash games are a fun thing to get into, and they're pretty profitable aswell, but I don't want to build a career out of it. Indipendant developers usually have a hard time sustaining themselves. Ever hear of $200,000-in-debt Jonathon Blow? Or 98% piracy rate 2DBoy? They make excellent games and they're inspiring guys, but I don't think I've got the business acumine to turn my games into my primary income.

And I've got Ed McMillen's old wacom right here on my desk. He drew a dick on it and signed it, it's magnificent.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 10:44 PM chickendance333 says:

Are your animations pleasing them or are they still sub-pro, but getting better? Because if your animation are not living up to their standards, that seems like a little reason for them to be a lil' bit douchey. (I feel like a bad person for saying that, though.) I mean, if I could only find one guy to do animations, I'd be pretty frustrated if they weren't what I was looking for. No reason for you not to quit, though. I would hate having to do that, even though I like animating.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 10:49 PM HolyPeanuts says:

Your boss needs a swift kick in the balls.

In fact thats what you should give him instead of your resignation.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 11:33 PM Josh-B says:

Do whatever makes you happy.


Sep. 15, 2009 | 11:39 PM knugen says:

http://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/1 104956

My knowledge about English geography is limited to say the least, but London isn't awfully far from where you're at?

Sep. 16, 2009 | 4:20 PM I-smel responds:

Pretty inconvinient, yeah. I'm at the top of England, and this is at the bottom. Also:

The job is mainly developing casino slot machines and promotional games in flash with ActionScript 3.

Doesn't sound fun.


Sep. 16, 2009 | 12:04 AM thantounderscore says:

£50 a week is not enough to pay for rent or school, let alone electricity, food, gas, car insurance, health insurance (that's in your taxes though, innit?), dental insurance, and clothes.

So, the only person who can really afford this kind of wage would be the college kid whose parents are paying his way. Basically, a kid on easy street. Real art takes real talent. Real talent comes from real life - something a mommy's boy living the good life for free at home with his parents won't know jack shit about. If he wants a real artist, he'll have to pay for one.

Also, honestly, what's the deal with all the overtime? If he's having you work that much, he obviously *really* needs you.

Come to think of it, if he can hire someone to work for free, why not just hire 37 of them and start churning stuff out? If he's not paying them, what's to stop him from "hiring" them? There's no cost to that proposition, honestly. He has to know that. And yet, he doesn't hire scads of free interns. Why? Why is he paying you £50 a week to do work if he really could get multiple people to do the same job for free? Simple answer: he can't, otherwise he'd have done it already.


Sep. 16, 2009 | 1:25 AM Sairex says:

Lesson of life: if your boss says you can be easily replaced with someone who'll work for less and still doesn't do it, he's manipulating with you. Just quick and he'll try to make you stay, offer you more money, if not then you are better off anyway.


Sep. 16, 2009 | 5:02 AM Ditocoaf says:

Awesome man, sounds like you'll be happy with the decision. Still keep an eye out for opportunities (since money's not a priority, you've got more options than a lot of people), and congrats on beating back the bullshit for a while.


Sep. 16, 2009 | 7:52 AM LazyMuffin says:

just rape everyone in there.

Sep. 16, 2009 | 4:21 PM I-smel responds:

DONE!


Sep. 16, 2009 | 8:34 AM Jimp says:

So glad you chose this route, look forward to seeing what you come up with!


Sep. 16, 2009 | 10:40 AM Starogre says:

Don't worry future employers hire people with FINISHED games, start to end. If you didn't finish a project at that place I'd say finish your own projects because one will really stand out and catch their eye. (Rather than just handing them a ton of assets to an incomplete game)


Sep. 16, 2009 | 11:52 AM blank0000 says:

if it's any consolation, you boss sounds like someone who just doesn't understand how to properly run a business "guessing hes new since its a new buisness"

you don't THREATEN your worker :D it's a BAD IDEA. When he starts giving you this "you care to much about money" crap, just think that if he was as noble and virtuous, he'd probably be more willing to pay up :)

Sep. 16, 2009 | 4:23 PM I-smel responds:

yeah, I got the feeling that he was just new at this and wasnt being very professional.


Sep. 16, 2009 | 12:20 PM SirCannabisClock says:

you-smell

Sep. 16, 2009 | 4:23 PM I-smel responds:

DDJ-GRRRRRRRRRRNNHHH.


Sep. 17, 2009 | 6:09 PM midimachine says:

shit on all their shoes

if our power of three stuff falls through (i'm guessing it probably will) i'd be happy to donate the tunes i've made to legend of johnny or something.these tunes are pretty rad, just sayin'


Oct. 27, 2009 | 11:20 PM Nevermind3 says:

In AMERICA you can be whoever you want to be.
But yea, reality.

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