>:(

jknow like I was makin that stupid fucking game right, since like 1996 or whatever stupid fucking long-ass time? well guess what I STILL FUCKING AM. I STILL AM. I'M STILL HERE, STILL DOING THIS AND I WILL BE UNTIL THE END OF TIME.

I wanted to finish it last year, then I wanted to finish it for January, and guess what now it's February 2010 and this is absolutely killing me. It's at that magical fabulous point where it takes half an hour to open, then crashes every 3 minutes. It's 4am. This is what time I go to bed now.

I so want to drop it an just delete everything, but I've put SO MUCH into this that it'd be as if I'd wasted all that time and effort on nothing. Also I'd look like an absolute idiot. When I had my last job (NOVEMBER OF LAST YEAR.) they asked what I was gonna do and the only plan I had was to finish this game, then make a plan. It's now February. People are asking have I made any games recently, I just say no.

I HAVE A BEARD.

Every time I release a new game I feel more n more like some retard kid on the internet who's wastin his time doing weird shit. Like a guy who cuts anime clips to pop songs and put em on Youtube. Or a guy who makes a vlog apologising to imaginary people that his Legend of Zelda parody will be pushed back.
I used to think I was that guy, but at this point I'm fucking certain.

I should be gettin a job, or learning to drive, or fuckin y'know- doing anything else. GETTING A GIRLFRIEND, HOW BOUT I TRY THAT? But anything I do that's not making this game will prolong the amount of time that I'm in this state of unfinished.

I WAS THINKIN (like a fool) I WAS THINKIN Y'KNOW maybe tonight I'll put the cutscenes in, even though they aren't animated, an I'll fix that save|load shit, an I'll throw it out fo testin. Just cos I could do with a milestone. An hour somehow turned into a day, an now it's 4:10am, and Im going to bed.

Pretty sure my family think I'm a retard. Including me. What do I even do after this game's finished in fucking 2063 or whenever? All the possible 5-year-plans I could've had av bin destroyed over the passed year. I can't get a job in games cos there is nowhere lookin for anyone at my level this side o the country, I can't just make a load of more financially efficient (by which I mean smaller) Flash games cos then at what point do I grow up, I could go to uni but that's 2 o 3 years of classes with people who've never opened 3DSmax, do I throw it all away an get a normal job? I know people who are renting flats and getting engaged; I'm still doin this same weird nerd shit I was doin in high school. I'm on newgrounds for fuck sake- remember newgrounds? dot com? that, yknow, that games site. All my stuff's on there. My username? Oh well its I FUCKING SMELL. SPELT WRONG.

WHY AM I THE ONLY DUMBASS WHO WRITES POSTS LIKE THIS? Everyone else on Newgrounds just seems to say HEY GUYS, NEW GAME, HERE IT IS or post a youtube video or something. I guess I'm doin this wrong n all.

Right, I'm not makin this game anymore.

Fuck, I allready sold it. RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I could release it now, but it wouldn't have any plot, so it'd be nowhere near it's potential. I'm not doin that.

In other news NOTHING. cos this is what's bin in my head for about the passed month, an in that time I've done fuck all else. Except for y'know, social stuff. I still go out. I don't mention any o this cos people'd think I was a fucking psycho.

course I can talk about it on the internet, cos I dont fuckin know any o youz, so it doesnt matter.
This is pathetic. I should kick the shit out of myself. Now it's 4:47.

I'm gonna check this tomorrow, an there's gonna be one of two things:
1-no replies. maybe one from a guy bein like- comedically dissmissive.
or 2-A load of people telling me I'm a fucking idiot and need to stop crying about dumb shit on the internet, which; yeah thanks, that's allready the first thing on my mnd.
or 3-someone actin like they only read this next comment that doesnt relate to anything, and commenting on that.

I watched avatar in 3d, I liked the the little helicopter lizard guy, I thought it was a bit sad that he had to spin about in circles whenever he wanted to fly somewhere, he must get well dizzy.

Hey babes.
A while ago I asked fo voices for this game and a bunch o people sent stuff. I PMed everyone who's pickin up what I'm puttin down. If you didn't get a PM, then sorry; a BUNCH of people sent stuff. I didn't want to get back to anyone until everyone had sent their thing.
I searched the audio portal for "voice demo" and sat through like the first 25 results. Some were FAB, some were not. Shout out to HotDiggedyDemon for a fucking spectacular demo.

Oh, for anyone who is voicing stuff, it's still gonna be a couple days before I can actually ask for anythin.
I had it in my head that I can just draft the intro n outro, but there was a bunch of other stuff I got wound up in. There's like the introduction of the final boss stage 1, then animatin how that transitions into stage 2, then the introduction of the ACTUAL final boss, then the ending, and I wanna re-do the beggining..
This is why this game took so long :(
and because whenever I open the file it's just like uurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr this game
... you know what I mean.

So thanks voice guys, I'll get back to you in a sec.
AND THEN HE VANISHED INTO THE NIGHT, A MYSTERIOUS MASCULINE BLUR.

Feelin like an insignificant retard who'll never make an impact on anyone and die alone? well that must mean its time for A NEWS POST! from that guy- orange avatar- I can't remember his name it's somethin stupid.

What's Legend of JOHNNY?
I could spend fuckin hours talkin about this game, but lets just call it Devil May Cry as a 2D platformer. It's got mouse controls, so chew on that for a sec n check out these screenshots.

The only AUDIO dialogue is in the intro and outro. The idea is that there's a boy named Johnny, his girlfriend gets stolen by evil guys, so he makes a deal with the devil to be super tuff, and goes on a mega quest to get her back. It's all very doofy and casual, none o that weird gothic occult demon shit goin on.
I've drafted the intro so I wouldn't forget stuff. This is it.- Hopefully I'll change all the stuff that's shit and weird. ANY FEEDBACK OR ANYTHIN ANYONE WANTS TO SAY ABOUT HOW I CAN MAKE THIS BETTER: FUCKIN GO FOR IT. I'M TOTALLY LISTENIN.

Ok so that's the intro- here's a summary of the guys who need voices:
JOHNNY
To be honest I've totally over-thought Johnny. I wanted to make him anti-cool so he wouldn't be like this demon-slayer ninja guy, but more like the Peter-Parker-archetype (deliberate rhyme) so the first thing I did was give him this orange Tintin-esque coif and put him in a shit band with a dopey name, really effortless clothes (except the jacket, that's animation emphasis blah blah) etc.
Then, for a while, I thought maybe he should have like a really unfortunate voice that'd make him sound like an idiot. Like he could talk in a total casual way but imagine if he was from Texas- or Kentucky, or New York, Canada, Wales, Ireland, fuckin Yorkshire, London, an I just said RIGHT STOP THINKIN ABOUT THAT COS YOU'LL BLOODY RUIN IT.
So you guys just try n do the best Johnny you can, and hopefully it'll just fit. Cos voice guys can probably come up with somethin way better than I can anyway.

JESSIE
Jessie is Johnny's GF. She's not really into Johnny, and thinks he's an idiot who should fucking grow up. Maybe she just likes him cos he's got money, or a car or something? I don't know. She's confident, on-top, abbrasive, and the kind of person who would walk up and punch the guy who's setting everyone on fire.

PRIDE
concept art for pride
Pride is a douchebag / rich jerk. The kind of person who steals people's girlfriends. I think of him as Noel Gallagher, or Russel Brand, or anyone out of The Entourage. He's above everyone else, and angry at anyone who's not doing exactly what he wants.

WRATH
I imagined Wrath to be the merchant from Resident Evil 4. Except instead of talking all SLOW AND MYSTERIOUS, he's totally casual and pretty pumped to burn shit up. So he keeps the cockney pronunciation, and the demonic growl voice, but he talks at the rate of a normal person. I sound so bloody stupid writing these.

GREED
I haven't thought about this at all, so y'know what just go nuts. Greed is based on a news story I read once about some loser scum who won the lottery, then blew it on jewellry, beer, weed and quadbikes.

THE DEVIL
This is another one I've over-thought. At first he was pretty much Hades from Disney's Hercules, then I got this bizzare idea that he'd be this 60's scat fellow like pretty much like Drebin. An when it came to drawin him, I just went with somethin completely different. So again- whatever you think works.

THE PUB LANDLORD
Duhrr.

Comment here, PM me, E-mail Tombrien@msn.com, whatevs. Don't feel like you have to say exactly what's planned, go nuts, alter the script however, I'm not a writer or nothin.

n that's jus about it. Am I askin too much? I think I bloody am y'know. In all fairness though, this game is stupidly big. Like I can confidently say that this game was a daft idea. Y'know that idea you get when you FIRST start makin games (or fuckin cartoons or whatever, ya know) an you've got this idea that you'll make this magnificent amazing game experience with 8 levels, 8 original bosses, all frame-by-frame, fuckin- animated cutscenes, all that gubbins. Then you open Flash and find out that makin a guy jump is pretty fuckin hard and that crazy huge game never gets made? Legend of JOHNNY is pretty much: imagine if someone actually did one o those stupid ideas. I started it like a year ago, but I got busy with college, got a job, made about 4 other games, made a website, got another job; it's just bin in my back pocket for ages.
I want it done before 2010, but LET'S BE HONEST, no way is that happening. I mean I've still got intro n outro to animate, menus to do, none of the audio's in. pffffffpfpfpfff
I wanted it finished cos A) this is gettin a bit sad, and B) Tank award: goin for it.
but now I've got the almost-finished blues an I've just gone n got another job, so nevermind I guess.

I kind of wanna spout about the game for a paragraph or so, but this is probably allready a fuckin long post so I'll cut it short here.

I'm up to episode 25 of this anime called Gurren Lagann. I'm not big on anime, but every now n then blah blah. Here's how they animate a guy getting punched:

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great stuff

everyone ask me stuff, cos I'll have a fun old time talkin about shit.
Hopefully the next news post'll be askin about testin n shit.
Now I'm gonna go PM a bunch of guys about this. Allright, no I'm not, but I probably will do later.
I THINK THAT'S IT? EXPECT THIS POST TO BE EDITED ABOUT 50 TIMES!
OH- and thanks to Ed mcmuffin, his tablet sped up the creation of this scene's production by 1.56 coefficient.

Ey yo.
Epic Games just released somethin they call the UDK: Unreal Development Kit. What's that? That's Unreal Engine 3.5 for free.
The unreal engine is pretty much the biggest motherfucker of a games development tool there is, and a license to develop in unreal is about $25,000. But now, to get independant developers hooked on it, it's about as easy to get as Audacity.
This is the software that runs Gears of War, Unreal Tournament, Mass Effect, Bioshock, Batman, Borderlands, Mirror's Edge, Shadow Complex, Army of Two, etc etc and it's free. So it's pretty much capable of pickin up whatever you're puttin down. Even Flash isn't free.
I won't write a fuckin huge post that nobody's gonna read, so if you're interested, then check this shit out:
www.udk.com

That's it. Just keepin y'all up to date.

I saw this thing ages ago n I was like waaaaaaht and I just did it.

Ok so like- years n years ago I was watching the first couple trailers for Gish; that game about the tar guy who like goes hard n stuff. At first I thought it was a Flash game, but it had all this 2D light and shadow stuff where I was like WHAT THE FUCK YOU CANT DO THAT. HOW- WHAT- FUCKIN- HOW DO I DO THAT? but then I decided it's not a Flash game and you can't do that in Flash. And if you could then I couldn't really get my head around it at the time.
But I thought about it, and you probably can. I just faffed about for a few minutes and I KIND OF DID?
Yeah I'm gonna say I did.

SHOCK

OOOOOOOOOOOMG oh shit now I should make a game about this.
Except its stupidly over-intensive, so it can never be used in an actual game. and it's kind of messy.

Anyway I just started LEVEL 7 of Legend of JOHNNY which is the LAST LEVEL. I don't work at Smashmouth Games anymore (reffer the last couple pages) so now I've got time to actually make games. JOHNNY's comin up oh my fuck.

That's it.
I bought World of Goo for $5.

Read my last thing if you wanna catch up on this.

Uuurrrrrggghhhh I feel like wank. The boss was off for a week or so, so I've just got round to havin a chat about my pay and over-time n all that shite etcetra.
It went fucking terribly. I said I can't do overtime and work weekends while getting paid £50 a week, everyone at home's tellin me to leave, my parents are all the fuck over me, it's not registered as an internship, I'm workin more than an intern would n all that shite etcetera.
Basically he thought all I cared about was money, said I'd get the same anywhere else, I'd usually get £0 for an apprenticeship, he knows people who he can get to work for free, faster than me, I've got bugger-all qualifications, they're a brand new company and so on. Pretty much shot down everything I said.
Then I go home and my family's got the perfect answer to all that, and think I'm a total spineless retard for not leaving. I can't just leave because my mates and family (and the fuckin internet) are tellin me to though- That would make me an idiot. I'm stuck between a job that think I'm worthless and a social life that thinks I'm a loser.

So tomorrow I'm fucking leaving. Forget aprenticeship, convincing everyone I'm not some feeble victim of this job, havin meetings about bein late or why I won't work weekends, writin everything formally and sensibly, and plannin out exactly how Im gonna talk to someone before I talk to em. Forget excuses. FORGET MONEY. I shouldnt force myself into this rock-an-a-hard-place lifestyle while I'm 18. I should be workin in a retail job and BLOWIN A FAT WEDGE ON GETTIN MASHED N BEAR GASH.

So the plan is: For the next- however long- I'll keep makin indie games from home, and that'll keep me up. I'll level up at animation, and take every opportunity I can to contribute to a team. And I don't mean these dumbass Newgrounds collabs, I mean like Power of Three, or CAN ANYONE USE XNA?, that kinda stuff. Who knows; maybe I won't even work in the industry. Maybe I'll get a conventional job and make games on the side, maybe make a business out of it in a few years. But that's way down the line.

God. I FUCKING HATE MONEY. My boss thinks I'm obssessed with it, my family think I should ask for more of it, apparantly how much you've got is a label of how fucking amazing you are, and everyone wants it all the time. I'm sick of how much money I've got.
I get paid £50 a week on this job yeah? I made Robot Dinosaurs in 2 weeks and got £2600. I'd rather get £50. If it wasn't for this stupid statistic that makes everyone freak out I'd be fine. WHAT DO I EVEN SPEND IT ON? I spend it on clothes, games, films, food, beer, car, taxis and other. I lent £100 to a mate cos he lost his job before goin on holiday (25 of us in Bulgaria, he did invite me in the first place) and I won't tell anyone cos I know exactly what they'll say, and I'll sound like an idiot.
I'm gonna get flak for that paragraph on money, but what the fuck I'd rather be eatin beans from a cup in a student dorm than sat at ome with a full savins account.
btw, sorry jetpak-guy for ever invadin you with that money drama.

ALLRIGHT Im gonna stop now before I start gettin all emo up in this ho.
I'm gonna make a fresh quick game in the next couple week, so expect that. It's called Blastmaster Borris the Bear That Blasts Big Blue Beams and it's kind of like Robot Dinosaurs crossed with Spewer but it's a side-scrollering platformer with boss fights. I'll sell it, but only cos the money'll make everyone around me think I did the right thing by quitting.
And I feel pretty great after finishing a game. Especially a small one.
Y'know what, if I leave tomorrow I might aswell tell y'all what game I've bin workin on. It's allready publicly known.
Everyone at work is gonna think I'm such a dick for leavin grrgrrrruaaahhrhrrrrrr.

I'm at a conflict:

A couple weeks ago I started workin at [yknow what I should probably remove the name], an independant studio made up of a very small team. They needed an animator, an that's me. I can't say what they're workin on cos y'know- contracts n shit. It's great for me to be here allready cos I came straight out of college without spendin 3 years on a degree. The people there are fab, and I can do the job.

Here's where things get messy though: My contractual hours are 10 til 6:30 Monday to Friday, but I actually work from 10 til 8 or 9, and I just got a phone call asking why I didn't show up today (Saturday).
I get paid £50 a week (that's about a quid an hour) and my boss had a meeting with me to see if he could get it any lower. I make a lot more than that by sitting at home making my own games.
I'd guess that they don't have a lot of money, but right as I started work they bought a £300 statue of Big Boss to decorate the office, and it stands right next to me. That's my wages for the next 6 weeks.

Considering I've got zero work experience, I've got a lot of work to do in a fucking short amount of time. I can't say exactly what I do there, but they've needed an animator for a while. If I left, they'd have to get someone new in immediately.

Now don't get me wrong; I like working there. I work in a small team where everyone knows each other, and I've met people who've worked in games for decades. Oddly enough though, my parents hate that I have this job. They hate me getting home from work at 9 or 10 every night, they hate that I spend my wages on getting to work, hate that people are phoning me askin where I am on weekends, and basically think I'm an idiot for putting up with it. If I don't quit soon enough, my dad is gonna walk in there and get me fired one way or another.

So I might actually quit.
Everyone comment on this, cos I need pushing over to one side o the fence. My brother's first job was an absolute joke, they basically hired a load of fresh-faced graduates just so they could take advantage. Leaving that place ended up workin out great for him- That was a few years ago.

Haven't made any progress on any new stuff by the way, for obvious reasons.

Since I came out of college (English college) I've bin kind of casually lookin for a job animating in games. I chose to do that instead of goin to university, so I'd expect to be lookin for a job for a while before anyone took notice. Hey guess what though, I've got an interview tomorrow at Smashmouth Games in Manchester. This is good cos they're a small studio about 2 miles down the road- It's not that great though cos I think they want a coder, and I kind of want to extend outside of working in Flash. But what the fuck it's my first job. Interview.

Another job I applied for was Character Animator at Bizarre Games in Liverpool, creators of Project Gotham Racing and Geometry Wars. They've got this task on their job vacancies page. Basically they give you a guy and two boxes, and see what you do. It's the classic SHIFT THIS BOX ITS REALLY FUCKING HEAVY test. I did this:

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I made some great progress with Legend of JOHNNY: one full level, two new enemies and a boss in 2 weeks.
Power of 3? Never heard of it.

Ey yo, Im goin BULGARIA later for fuckin TWO WEEKS, JEEEEEEEEZUS!
WISH ME LOOK!

oh, an I ACTUALLY STARTED power de trois. I think we're a bit late.. Nah we'll be fine.
PEACE.

SAYWAAAAAAAAAATTTTTT