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I just read this JonBro update, and I looked back at my old posts n remembered that I used to talk about my actual life a lot more as well as just what games I was makin. SO LET'S TRY THAT!
I went out last night n realised I'm angry about everything. Why is everyone so dumb? Like-- why do guys start fights on strangers? What's the point? Why do people even get in arguments? I don't!
Why is this girl tellin me all about her boyfriend and how mean he is? I don't care!
Why do you wanna be on the dancefloor so much? I like to bust a funk n dominate the ladies as much as anyone, but there's NO ROOM to move, EVERY TIME WE COME HERE!!
I thought I was someone who doesn't get annoyed by anything, but now I know that people who are unfunny- like-- when a joke hits me the wrong way... it just SETS ME ON FIRE. That's when I turn into a dick on people; and I was a dick to EVERYONE yesterday!
Is that me projecting myself on other people? boy that'd be a cool twist!
god I just don't understand people at all. Y'ever meet people with no interests? How do they live!??
How can 2 guys talk about football for like 3 hours, but nobody can see the majesty in this intro to Bionic 6?
People think I give a shit about their cats, but if I wanna talk about how She-Hulk was also a lawyer, suddenly I'M CRAZY?
I'm goin to a girl's 21st in a few hours; I'm gonna have absolutely nothing to talk about with anyone there. I'm at a point right now where I don't fit in with anyone in the world. I hate people in real life n I hate people on the internet; I don't understand anyone at all. Is this autism?
I booked my flight to Vegas. A one-person ticket to Vegas is so weird. We're giving a talk at a convention about No Time To Explain and how 2 internet goofs can start a real videogame company over Skype. YES, A REAL FUCKING-- PANEL TALK. My real goal is to make it entertaining. I've never bin to a convention, or to the US, or ever imagined doing anything like this, so it's gonna be pretty weird. Our next game's gonna be a Unity game, incase... any of you give a shit. I was gonna talk a little about how I don't think I tried hard enough on No Time and what our next game's gonna be, but I don't want this to get too long,so.. just ask if you're interested.
CAN YOU BELIEVE I made Robot Dinosaurs over 3 years ago now? It feels like yesterday. My life's not changed much since then. WELL!!-- THAT'S YR UPDATE! That's my life today. I'll come back n read this in a couple years, I bet things'll still be the same. I kind-of wanna read up on what other Newgrounds people are doin in real life now. Have you ever noticed there's a Newgrounds interview series? I JUST noticed this, it's bin goin for months!!
Yo I don't give a shit about global economics, n I don't know where Wall Street IS, but I've had this idea in my head all week and I need to get it down somewhere.
O.W.S is a protest thing in America where everyone's super annoyed that billionaires are screwing over the rest of us. There's like a thousand people there and the police are kicking the shit out of everyone. They can't get on TV at all, I think Fox News and NBC and CNN or whatever are refusing to give this whole thing any attention. People are screaming at each other over this.
Here's my point though: When was the last time anyone watched TELEVISION? How did you first find out about Steve Jobs dieing this week? The fuckin Sunday paper? No, that's where your DAD gets news from. Stop worrying about that. Even stuff like Breaking Bad and X-Factor people are watching online now, or through Tivo.
Meanwhile their Youtube videos are struggling to get like a hundred thousand views. Say what you want about the significance of the raised-fist logo-- in this day n age, it just looks a punk rock band sticker.
Look at Newgrounds- A regular-ass dude with no job and no money can wake up one day n get ONE MILLION HITS and more, it happens every week. There's some wizard game on Kong with 17-million right now, fake and gay gets 5 million a pop, there's that Chinese After Effects kid, Epic Meal Time tearin shit up-- What's in this space right now? Deaf Woman Hears for the First Time? Fuckinn-.. Back To The Future shoes? These guys should be occupying THIS SPACE.
I'm serious, their biggest voice right now is Michael Moore, and people are interviewing him BECAUSE HE'S A CELEBRITY. Can you imagine how much of a cultural wave this'd be if they got Autotune The News up in this, got it on SNL, Lonely Island, FunnyOrDie sketch, every fake and gay billion-hits blog all in the same week? People listen SO MUCH MORE if you catch em in their down-time or just make it entertaining; nobody gives a shit what's on the news.
Like-- protesters with signs and flags... How many people is this guy REALLY reaching? REALLY. I respect that he's trying, but... If you're stuck with no job right out o college, you can do better than hangin out at this thing n getting arrested: this is actually perfect, it's made with a blazer and a copy of After Effects. This jokester BLOWS ME AWAY. With basic independant catalysts like Reddit, Digg, Twitter, Facebook and Youtube, Rebecca Black got 22 million hits LITERALLY over-night. Then her and Charlie Sheen sold out continental tours off that, and this movement can't get attention? There's like a thousand people on that street, I'm just askin for one or two of em to forget about "the media" and just make a show. At least do what you can to get your favourite show or podcast or celebrity anything to give a shoutout or come down there.
Anyway that's what I've got stuck in my head. Is this the right idea or is it just bullshit? The way I see it is that these college kids have the skills to reach a hundred thousand people, and they're out there desperately wavin a cardboard flap around and getting pepper sprayed. I'm not here to talk about politics so much as I'm here to talk about how to get people's attention in 2011. So if I'm a fucking moron: don't be annoyed, because I already know.
Also I think people should turn up to these rallies in office-wear so they're not looked at as rats by everyone else in the financial district. -That's not what I think, I'm just talkin about managing public perceptions.
yo yo yo what's up
My last post was saying that No Time To Explain was out. It's still out.
I'm workin on Season 2 now (the free update with 70 new levels) and it's lookin pretty good. 35 levels done and there's a tonne o stuff that looks different and has new mechanics than the first pack. I think we'll release a trailer for that in about November, cos it comes out in December and I think we're appearing at MineCon.
MineCon is an indie game convention in Vegas run by Mojang. I've never bin to a convention before; we missed Pax and Gamescom cos of BUDGET FLUCTUATIONS
[EDIT I actually went back and remembered that we missed those shows because people were in hospital at the time]
, and I'm really put off by the idea of the crowd of people that'll be there... I mean what kind of person goes to a thing like this, yknow?
We do like all the developer guys there though. Anyway that's still a month away.
Alex spent all last week touring Europe fr like-minded developers, and we are doin some stuff.
BUT ANYWAY FUCK ALL THAT BORING SHIT did you know Egoraptor's auditioning for The Tester? The Playstation reality show where you win it and test videogames as a prize? It's all user-ran, so he's winning by like a million votes. What's that about? He doesn't wanna test videogames, what's goin on?
Last thing: I listen to a billion podcasts and one o my favourites, TalkRadar, is kinda dissapearing. So those guys made a new podcast, it's starting from episode 1, so I thought I'd plug it. LASERTIME is about the dumb side of movies and games n shit where people release idiot things and nobody notices. First episode's mostly about 80s Star Wars spin-off cartoons, and I don't know shit about Star Wars but the guys are funny.
Actually if I'm gonna plug podcasts then you should be listenin to Comedy Bang Bang which is way funnier.
I think that's everythin I could fit in a blog post, I wanted to pad it out with stuff cos I'm not doin anythin interesting.
We're not on Steam but I think we'll have a better chance once Season 2's out.
EDIT OMG GUYS I JUST CHANGED MY AVATAR!!!!!
hey guys hows it goin
Before I talk about me- HOW'S IT GOIN WITH YOU? Things good? everythin goin ok? alright cool.
No Time To Explain came out on Monday. It's not out everywhere, we had a cold release incase anythin went wrong, it'll be up on Direct2Drive n Gamersgate n stuff (and bitTorrent) after the weekend. Steam? App Store? who knows!
But you can buy it right now right here.
If you don't know what this game is then lemme take a quote from funny-games.biz:
Kill giant crab in this funny gun game.
If FOR SOME REASON that's not enough then here's a trailer:
BOY have I bin busy the passed few days gettin this FUCKING STUPID MAC VERSION to work, and playing TF2.
Buy it if you want, but yknow I'm not advertisin here. It's pretty short. I wish I was The Behemoth or Team Meat but HEY-... Next one's on me. If this kicks off then we'll hire someone who can actually code or draw, an then things'll really get cookin.
A while ago I said we were having a poster contest. Remember that? Well SOMEONE WON! An they fuckin blew us away! I was ECSTATIC when I opened my inbox that day. We put their credit in the game and sent em some stuff. Then a distributor asked us for "box art", so we sent them this.
... MAYBE we should be taking this more serisously as a company... or maybe everyone else should be having more fun. RIGHT??
So yea; game's out- only buy it if you want it- if you kickstarted us with $5 then CHECK YOUR INBOX cos you got it! We would be heading up to PAX right now but one of us twisted their back or something (?). Something happend. I twisted my neck 2 days before release and it FUCKED ME UP!!!! I WAS SO ANNOYED!!!!
We'll check out who's available to help us make a short little iPhone game, and then we'll jump into round 2. Already got a good bit of it made.
Ask me anything! Except things I'd be uncomfortable answering.
Actually do ask me anything, I'll PM it if it's anything bad.
EDIT--- Oh god I'll tell you what's scary: Comin back to web games after about 8 months. I just played Nanobeast on the front page thinkin "Yeah this'll probably be a pretty average shooter"
...OH MAN. That game is PRETTY GOOD, and it's free, and it's pretty good. oh no
ohhhhh goodnight Irene!
HEEEEEEYYYYYY! No Time To Explain is WRAPPING UP!
I'm hastily goin through the game and improving things, we're working on our launch trailer, we know exactly what we're gonna get to work on next, and I'm scared of what people are gonna say!
2 guys over Skype, 6 months, will it be a high calibur debut homerun? or will it be another weaksauce wimper? THE ANSWER IS JUST AROUND THE CORNER!
Anyway we're starting a contest to pass the time.
Make a cliche over-the-top dramatic blockbuster poster for No Time To Explain,
by August 5th
send it to firstname.lastname@example.org
and the winner'll get a credit in the game, and the game for free!
GET PHOTOSHOPPIN'! Extra points for makin it orange and teal, extra points for harsh lighting, extra points for portraying our dudes as badass wifebeaters, jus goof around with it.
ppffffff you'll be way better than half the other nobody's entertin, come ooonnnnnn!!
Launch trailer comin up, game comin up, exciting news comin up! Ask me anything
this is kind of a waste of a post but I'M EXCITED!
DANCE CENTRAL 2, DAY ONE PERCH FROM ME!
TOM CLANCY SHOOTING GAME WITH MAD HANDS-THING: GAME OF THE YEAR
Kinect ME makes you look like a NIGHTMARE MONSTER.
A lot of games look badass! Battlefield 3 looks like REAL GOD DAMN LIFE! I don't know why they showed a 20 minute demo of driving through a flat desert, that was kinda weird, but anyway I don't even like army games but that looks pretty cool.
There's some cool shit on PS3 but I don't have a PS3 so I WASN'T PAYING ATTENTION!
Here's one interesting thing though: No XBLA or PSN games from anyone. Not even a mention. Weird right? At PAX all the small developers were saying "we're aiming for summer" meaning Summer of Arcade...
Glad that the Rayman 2D platformer got a lot of airtime-- until it got to the shooter part.
A scrolling shooter where you inhale enemies to use as ammunition... am I just being crazy here?
I mean the graphics look like it's the same thing right? I'm not the only one right? right?? Am I just being crazy here?
And then Nintendo made something that does all the things you can already do with a Wii and a 3DS... except it's a seperate console for some reason, and you don't wanna take it outside.
but YO BIOSHOCK INFINITE RIGHT? OH MAN! cant wait fr that
far cry 3 wizzaaaaaaaard
We raised MORE THAN TRIPLE what we asked for- fuck, we raised nearly quadruple what we asked for, and still managed to give the game to hundreds, thousands o people for half price. This is fucking straight-up win-win.
So THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO GOT INVOLVED, I think the attention we got from this might prove to be worth way more than the money. I can't talk about most of it, but we've bin invited to speak at places, we're doing interviews, a whole fucking bunch of different giants want to eat us-- as well as the small victories like getting on Gametrailers and someone making us a Giantbomb page-- we're turning into an up-and-running THING overnight thanks to just the fact that everyone's joining in (and arcane magiks).
I should make a charity game once this is finished, someone remind me.
So yeah, the $1 poster art is out there, I was mostly inspired by the promo art Castle Crashers had on the left n right of Newgrounds-- but I couldn't find it! If anyone has that, please send it me.
The beta and level maker are comin out in the next couple days, I just have to learn a bit more on ssssserver communications :|
We have like a litteBigPlanet PLAY EVERYONE'S LEVELS thing in the game, and that's what we're finishing today, as well as rounding up all the $25+ people and making usernames n passwords for em.
Also a couple days ago I put out a little project where I put all the dates I knew from videogames onto one timeline, and asked for people to contribute like a wiki; but nobody liked it. So-... nevermind.
I THOUGHT IT WAS COOL!
Also I couldn't sleep one night and drew another fanart for Wisenheimers, which is Lazymuffin and HotdiggedyDemon's podcast, which you should check out cos it's funny sometimes.
I think that's everything............. I think that's everythinnnnnnggggg................. ACTUALLY WAIT;
One thing that bugged me in this whole Kickstarter thing, apart from all the new game developers that popped up on Kickstarter over the passed couple months, was the one place that definatively hated us. I couldn't find ANY COMPLAINTS (and I looked!) apart from on the Steam forums, where everyone universally said "I hate these fucking Kickstarters where they hold the game hostage until they get enough money"... who thinks like that? I wouldn't care if all the commenters on Kotaku said that, and I wouldn't really care if people just hated the game, but what is that about?
Last things first I found this guy's youtube channel today and oh my goooooooooodddd I love this guy.
also fuck L.A Noire, I'm starting the same interrogation like 12 times cos I didn't go to the right places in the right order 2 hours ago.
HEY! We just put up a tiny little "Don't forget this is still a thing!" trailer. I was kinda worried about this one cos there's a lot o stuff I don't want Alex to show just yet, but it looks alright and it's pretty funny.
We argued over what to have as a logo, cos I love doing whacky over-elaborate title screens so I wanted something like Splosion Man, but Alex manages a shitload of web games so he was bein all logical about it and said we should have something like the Meat Boy face. Long-story short, the crab guy has a BLUE shirt now cos it stands out from the orange crab claw! Which is super weird for me cos I play it like every day.
Our Kickstarter's over $17,000so I guess that's news. Thanks to anyone who's gettin stuff. My parents are still telling me to get a real job.
BLOG SHIT: Yo let's talk about Portal 2! I'm diein to have a real conversation about this; Portal is the main inspiration of what I'm doin right now cos it's the only modern massive attempt at a comedy game, and they fuckin nailed it.
SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS
The ending was GREAT, it was super feel-good, adorable, and a total celebration fo everythin they'd done so far. And there are some pretty funny lines in there; but there's a lot that really threw me off.
A lot of the dialogue really spelled out the jokes. They used "there's a surprise in the next room" about 5 times, they were still explaining the GlaDOS-Caroline thing about 2 hours after I'd allready got it, and the robots talk so slow n allways repeat themselves. I was playing it just now n Wheatley said:
"You'll love this next test so much.. you might even say: you'll love it... to death.
...Til you're dead. Til-- You'll love it so much, you'll be dead. You pickin up on this? Am-- Are you getting this? What I'm saying?" and GlaDOS says "Yes... We get it".
And they do that SO MUCH where they had an idea for a joke and streeeeeeetched it all the way out, or had a surprise and foreshadowed it way too much.
And GlaDOS is WAY DIFFERENT here! In the first one she was like an early-build robot who didn't really understand humans, and was like a baby tantrum girl. But here she's like an omnipotent genius murder robot like in Futurama, or Pinky and the Brain, or just any old stereotype evil villain.
The joke about her being a robot and thinking like a robot is totally gone. You can hear straight away in this, and then this, how she's a different character now.
Not that I'm super complaining, I just think it's interesting.
Also, just like Half Life 2, it didn't feel like this game had a story or arc at all, it just felt like a list of events and locations to check out, and your objective's allways "go after the bad-guy".
Yeah there's SO MUCH shit to say about this game, but I've not got noone to talk about it with.
hey reg, what up
We had a discussion about the price o this game ages ago, and our idea was that people would buy it INSTEAD OF some DLC or a map-pack or something. So we landed on $10.
But I still felt like a dick about it, cos all I'm thinkin of is the dozen people who comment on this blog, and like forum guys n shit, and I don't wanna ask those people fr that much. So like-- am I gonna hand out codes or somethin when it comes out? aaeehhhhhhhh...
Then we came up with this idea:HALF OFF FOR ANYONE WHO WAS HERE BEFORE IT CAME OUT. So that's you, it's all the comment guys, all the Newgrounders, our Twitter dudes, facebook fans n all that shit: For the feedback we got n all the youtube hits n fuckin whatnot: it's $5.
YO THAT'S LIKE £3 WHAT THE F-- THIS SHIT AINT NO JOKE! It's like sick Newgrounds discount; PICK IT UP!!
it's not done yet btw, I'll send it you on launch day lol :I
Why's it on Kickstarter? Dude I don't know! I guess people'll trust us more if we attach it to this than if we just put it on our regular-ass blog? I guess it makes the whole thing easier to understand? or more viral- or something? I dunno, ask Alex. I don't know how to sell shit.
Also we're givin out early access to the game so you can MAKE SURE I don't fuck it up, AND the level editor.
--"Slow down there man, I don't know videogame codin's"
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, the level editor isn't videogame codin's- You fuckin paint squares down n it turns into a level. It's like Roller Coaster Tycoon, it's easier than that, you could make like a hundred levels in an hour;; BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!!
If you can make better levels than me then fuck it, it's goin in. I'll credit you as a level guy.
I DUNNO, WHY NOT?
There's also some expensive stuff that I don't think anyone's psycho enough to go for, but whatever-- the important thing is IF YOU'RE THE KINDA GUY WHO'S READIN I-SMEL.NEWGROUNDS.COM, THEN YOU GOT DISCOUNT.
Game's not done yet by the way, you'll get it at launch.
Q&A starts now, ask me anything.
IT'S FIVE DOLLARS.
I JUST NOW wrote a big fat blog post on a part of game design that I'm really interested in.
Some people were askin for bigger posts, so there ya go.
Please tell me if I sound like a pretentious douche yet. I haven't done one o these for weeks.
We released a trailer yesterday that will hopefully answer any questions people were asking about the first one. There was loads of comments, and I think this shows accurately where our priorities are with this:
You can download the music from the site. By the way it's MrFuby. I've bin calling him "the music guy" all this time but it turns out it's some Newgrounds dude, same as me, same as Druox the voice guy. So basically Newgrounds rules, Fuby rules, and you should check him out.
Me n Alex were invited on a podcast a couple days ago to talk about the game, but oh my god I was so bad on it. I fuckin BURN THROUGH podcasts every day, but this was my first time bein on one and it was impossible. Explaining your game is one thing, but when it's about alternate dimensions and time-travel and this weird beam-mechanic then you just sound like the biggest twat in the world. Words-- just fell out of me. For 20 minutes. It's not up yet, I might not even link it.
This summer I'm gonna have to fly to Holland to incorporate a business and sign some shit, then I'm gonna come back, and fly to fucking SEATTLE to have a BOOTH at PAX. That's what we're talking about anyway, it's not 100%.
But what the fuck, I'm gonna be going to countires I don't know shit about, on my own, ON BUSINESS.
Hopefully before any o that weird shit kicks off I'll be pretty confident with where the game's at. I added some cool stuff this week, workin on a new gun dude. Not sure if he's cool or not.